Of Love and Death - Chapter 1

There was a particularly crisp breeze that evening in late spring; the wind was blowing from the east, alive with the smell of the sea.

Sitting on top of the walls surrounding Highever Castle, Liv Cousland suddenly recalled the days when she was just a nine year old skinny tomboy who enjoyed playing at war with her older brother Fergus. Her mind brought her back to the time they had assembled two wooden swords and had fought on the pebble beach having lots of fun. It was always she who spurred him to duel, but it was Fergus the one who always got scolded by their mother.

Liv smiled thinking back to those days. She was no longer a skinny tomboy, but she wasn't the graceful maiden clothed in velvet her mother had wished, either. Or, better, that she claimed to wish, because Liv knew that Eleanor, her mother, was once a tomboy like her, if not worse. Bryce had told her several stories of how Eleanor Cousland, in her younger years, had distinguished herself for combat skills and temper, which clearly had been passed onto her daughter.

Both Couslands had very early on given up any attempts to make a fair maiden out of their daughter, and eventually Bryce Cousland had even succumbed to Liv's pressing demands to receive training as a soldier, which included sword, shield and the use of light armor.

The sun was setting behind the last hill to the west and the breeze was getting cool. Liv brushed aside a lock of long black hair that the wind had just blown across her face, and climbed off the massive wall.

That night an old friend of her father's had arrived: Rendon Howe, Arl of Amaranthine, and Fergus was going to leave along with him and his army, heading for Ostagar to fight the Darkspawn invasion.

There was an atmosphere of great industry and turmoil in the castle leading her to make escape to the top of the walls.

Whenever visitors came from outside Highever, it meant her being forced to dress up as a lady and suffer all kinds of formal presentations. The thing she hated the most was finding herself face to face with spoiled and unpleasant young men, knowing that her parents were hoping she might see a possible husband in one of them. But Liv knew herself to be altogether very lucky, her father would never have forced her into a marriage she didn't want, he loved and respected her greatly. In fact, Bryce had a soft spot for that very special daughter of his. So independent, proud, just like her mother, the woman who almost thirty years earlier had enchanted him with her charms.

Liv had just turned twenty-one and yet hadn't been promised to anyone, while Eleanor had already given birth to Fergus at that age.

Howe's youngest son, Thomas, was no different; in fact, of all the windbags she had been introduced to, he was the ugliest and most unpleasant of all, just like his father. Both had a huge nose that looked like the beak of a griffon, long yellowish teeth and affected manners. She had met the young Howe a couple of years earlier and had hoped to never see him again.




Liv pushed open the doors to the Main Hall. She could already hear the voices of her father and two other men, one of which she recognized immediately: it was the cawing of Rendon Howe, but the other one was completely new to her. She entered the room and was dazzled by the bright light coming from the large fireplace and the many candles in sconces on the stone walls, but soon she could make out the figures of the three men standing there, discussing war and strategies. They did not immediately notice her so she could observe the man whose voice she did not recognize. He was rather tall, dressed in the most magnificent light armor she had ever seen, except in the illustrations of the books telling of great heroes of the past. His hair as black as night, long and neatly pulled back in a pony tail, he had slightly darker skin and the thick black beard typical of men coming from the Rivain region. His eyes were also dark, insightful and as piercing as daggers. He had a look of concern on his face, as if the whole world weighed on his shoulders, yet kept a proud stance, not allowing the burden bend his back. His features were chiseled as if carved in rock, but warm and sweet at the same time. His forehead, furrowed by deep lines, suggested a mature age, but his lips were full like those of a young man. The powerful body forged from a thousand battles, he looked capable of great kindness and compassion, yet he looked steeped in a great melancholy.

Liv was fascinated by this man who seemed to have popped straight out one of the books she had loved since childhood, a hero from the past. He was emanating an aura that would have led anyone to trust and follow him to the ends of the world without question. The man's dark eyes turned towards her and immediately took on a different expression. He nodded and smiled to her.

She heard Howe's voice saying in his usual irritating manner, "Ah! I see we have your daughter here, Bryce, and I see that she has become a truly lovely young woman!"

Bryce turned to her. "Duncan let me introduce my daughter Liv. Come forward Darling."

Destiny is a bizarre, tricky thing. Throughout all her life, Liv Cousland had been forced to wear her sea-blue velvet dress ('it brings out the color of your eyes!' her mother kept saying) whenever she met the illustrious guests visiting the Castle, and every time she had found herself stuck in unpleasant conversations with old men, bodies decayed by too wealthy a life, and their young arrogant offspring. But this time she had presented herself wearing the light leather armor she had just used during the afternoon training. It was sweaty and dirty, and her hair was completely disheveled.

Liv's hair was long and wavy, but cut by a sword-thrust dating back to the day she had challenged Fergus to a duel. The blow had struck just below shoulder level and the cut was not clean but she had refused to repair it, much to the dismay of her mother.

For the first time in her life she was wishing to be presentable and felt quite embarrassed but she didn't let it show; in fact, she squared her shoulders, straightened her back and approached the three men with bold steps.

"You sent for me?" she asked her father in an overly cocky way. This inspired a nasty laugh from Howe, who reproached Bryce for being too lenient with his own daughter.

Liv turned contemptuously towards the Arl. "Is your son accompanying you in your stay perhaps?" she asked him, implying that she was hoping for the opposite. This enraged the withered old crow even more, who suddenly lost his affected manners and grimaced in deep disappointment.

"It seemed to me, actually, that the last time you two got along pretty well," he replied in a higher-pitched voice than usual.

In fact Liv had played along with young Howe in his pathetic advances to let him down in the end, then tell everything to Fergus and have a few laughs behind his back. Yes, she knew how to be nasty when she wanted.

Bryce sighed and tried to change the subject. "Pup, come meet Duncan, the Commander of the Grey Wardens."

Liv felt the blood freeze in her veins. Her father hadn't called her 'pup' for years, so why, why did he have to do it right now in front of Duncan, when, for the first time in her life, she wanted to make a good impression?

A Grey Warden! Then he must be here to recruit someone, but who? Perhaps Fergus?

She dared not even hope he had come for her, it would be too good to be true. Her brother was about to leave on a long journey to Ostagar to support the King against the Darkspawn and Liv envied him, she longed to join the army and fight for Ferelden even more than he did.

"You know what Grey Wardens are right?"

If I know? Of course I do, I have spent my whole life with my nose stuck in books recalling their great deeds.

"They are an ancient order of great warriors," she replied nonchalantly.

Bryce turned to Duncan. "Are you going to test Ser Gilmore?"

Ser Gilmore was a young handsome boy of the same age as Liv, who had shown great skills in battle as well as an aptitude for discipline and self-control. Of all the young men she had known until now, Gilmore was the only one who could have successfully courted her, but he was also the only one to have never shown the slightest interest in her. At least not that kind of interest... she had hoped he was just too much of a gentleman to step forward, or maybe he was too committed to improving himself to think of romance. But one day she saw him hanging around an extremely delicate looking girl, dressed and coiffed in a very rich and elaborate way and at that moment she understood his interest lay elsewhere, but also found out she did not care.

"Actually, my first choice would be your daughter," Duncan said looking straight into her eyes. She held his gaze, two deep black eyes scanning the depths of her soul.

You know my true value! she thought returning the same penetrating gaze with her sapphire eyes. Her life was about to change, she had smelled it in the air and now she knew. She had always known that somehow she had been born to a special destiny; as if she had a mission to accomplish,  beyond raising a family like any other ordinary woman.

"No Duncan, my daughter is not an option and in this issue I do not intend to change my mind!" Bryce stated with a frown.

It seemed to Liv that the world was collapsing. "What? Why? Why can't I fight?"

She was trembling with astonishment and anger, and her voice was trembling as well.

In Ferelden women were held in high esteem and it wasn't as queer that a woman fought like men as it was in Orlais or Antiva. Why was her father clipping her wings?

"Your mother was adamant about this. Duncan please, I don't have many children and I can't sacrifice them all in battle!"

Duncan looked at him with understanding, "Do not worry my friend, if I can find the recruits I need there will be no reason to force the issue. I do not intend to call upon the Right of Conscription."

That was the matter: the Grey Wardens were an order of great heroes, the King was asking for support from all allies against a common threat, but when it came to sacrificing his own daughter all good purposes melt away like snow in the sun. Her father loved her too much to risk losing her.

Liv felt her anger dissolve and turn into great tenderness. "Let me talk to her, maybe I can convince her," she implored, although knowing that Eleanor was not the main obstacle between her and the Grey Wardens.

-o-o-o-

Howe's men were slowed by the bad weather and Liv was sent to warn Fergus that he had to leave without Bryce, who would instead wait for the arrival of his friend's troops.

Fergus departed that evening. Thunder was heard in the distance, and the air had become turbulent. Liv did not fail to emphasize the fact that he would sleep in the open, under the rain, while she would stay warm in a soft bed. He laughed and kissed her forehead before starting to walk down the hill. She watched him as he walked down the paved road winding its way down to the valley below, until he disappeared behind a hill, then she turned to go back home. Take care of yourself brother and come back soon. I'll miss you.

Liv walked down to the Main Hall, where she found Duncan standing in front of the huge fireplace. He was staring into the dancing flames with a pensive look; she approached him and stood beside him in silence.

"Have you tested Ser Gilmore?" she asked after a while.

He nodded.

"Have you recruited him? Will he become a Grey Warden?"

He nodded again. "He's a skilled young man and resourceful, truly remarkable. But I still think that you would be the best choice. Tomorrow I'll search Highever for other possible candidates, but if I do not find new ones my choice will fall on you. The Grey Wardens can recruit whomever they want in case of an upcoming Blight and although in the past I have always tried not to create family tragedies nor to make enemies among the nobility, the situation is getting critical at a fast pace. I don't know for how long I can behave as if the times were the same as ever."

Liv was silent. Duncan's voice was deep and had a calming effect even when speaking of plagues and impending tragedies. Now that they were alone she could fully appreciate the immense presence of the man. He possessed an aura extending far beyond his physical boundaries and she realized she should have felt in a state of reverent awe in front of him, but instead she was feeling thoroughly understood as never before in her life. Liv felt as if the man could read the depths of her soul like an open book, perceive her true essence and value, and she felt in complete empathy with him despite the fact they had known each other for just a few hours.

"Can you tell me about the Grey Wardens?"

Duncan seemed to be expecting nothing less than that question from her.

"The Grey Wardens are a very particular order of warriors who dedicate their lives to the war against the Darkspawn. Becoming one of us would mean being provided with the tools required for this war, but the price to pay is the renouncement of family bonds and titles and the awareness that we sacrifice our lives for the greater good."

He stopped, his eyes lost in the dancing flames of the fireplace, as if many memories were suddenly rekindled in him, and he had many having been a Grey Warden for many years; in fact he had been for more than half his life.

"Please go on," Liv said bringing him out of his trance.

"That will suffice for now. Go get some sleep, you carry a great responsibility. Your father had entrusted you with not a small task and you should try not to underestimate it. If fate wills, one day you'll fight alongside us but there are many other duties as important and noble to which life calls us. Managing an entire Teyrnir at your age, even if for a limited time, should be seen as a terrifying responsibility for someone so young. But I see an uncommon strength in you ... " He smiled and bowed to her. "Now I will retire to my chambers and you will do the same. Tomorrow evening we'll meet again and I will update you on the situation. Ready yourself for the possibility of being recruited and having to leave as soon as possible."

Liv looked straight into his eyes.

"I desire nothing but to follow you to Ostagar and fight alongside my father and brother, and you!"